Real Talk: What's holding you back

by Shana Black

Spent some time with my business coach, Nando and the question of what's holding me back kept lingering in my head hours later. It’s not so much what (it’s that stupid little voice in my head) but the question of what the little voice saying and what is the impact of agreeing with it. Nando calls it the point of view, some call it our internal narrative. Whatever you call it, I’m learning that it creates havoc in so many aspects of my life.

Not me in real life but a very accurate depiction

Not me in real life but a very accurate depiction

I’m learning that while the little voice might change the thoughts or words it’s telling me, there is a common underlying belief that fuels the little voice. Maybe it’s a thought of not being smart, or lucky, or pretty or worthy but I’m learning that this will effect how I prepare for and show up (if I show up) to a multitude situations. Should I apply for the job, should I charge what I’m worth, should I wear or buy certain clothes, attend certain event, the list goes on.

Thinking about me to thinking about you.

I often hear from you, our followers and readers, that " I have always wanted to go to (insert local venue here)" or try some new activity but what follows is a laundry list of reasons why the person hasn't gone. Sometimes it's a money issue (I get that) but other times we hear, I didn't want to go by myself, I wasn't sure______, I don't have time, or I've been waiting to hear back from my friends… So I’ll pose the question to you, what's holding you back from pushing past that initial excuse or reason?

"But Shana you don't understand..." Yes I do in fact it's been my focus for the month of #February to identify what's holding me back and squash the self-talk that keeps me in the house or not posting as much wishing I could do better. That’s why I signed up for coaching, because I knew that my mind and the little voice would give me plenty of reasons why backing down or forgetting my aspiration would be beneficial. Or somehow I’d become too “busy.” So I needed a goal, a couple of accountability partner and the constant reminder to think about what happens if I never go for it.

Full circle: Why Black Girl in the CLE?

Understand that when we use the #trynewthings hashtag on our social media post we mean it and remember the reason Black Girl in the CLE was started was because we wanted to encourage people to get out and explore our city (especially when needing a break from everyday responsibilities). We also strive to show you unique places around Greater #Cleveland that are welcoming and comfortable for all women especially the women of color.

All of our events are created to expose you to experiences that are happening around town so that you can try the experience. Events like Grooves and Grapes lets you dance, enjoy music, catch up with friends or meet new friends but mainly so that you’ll want to get out and enjoy other silent discos.

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At our last 2 events we heard from women that said they don’t have many or any friends so they we just happy to be able to be part of a group where they could relax and talk with other like-minded women. Realizing this we created Girlfriends for women that like smaller group outings where they can meet people and explore the city together.

As I continue to work on my mindset and point of view, I hope you spend some time to think about what’s holding you back? Why aren’t you pursuing the job or promotion. Why aren’t you trying to use your gift or start the business? Why aren’t you willing to try that restaurant or go to the event solo?

Seriously what's holding you back from carving out a little time to do the things you want to do? What's the narrative or point of view you've come up with that stops you from doing the things you want to do or try? Then the question becomes what small thing can you do today, (look into something, spruce up your resume, sign up for an activity, visit someplace, make phone call, ask a friend to hold you accountable to your goal..) or a small goal that you can accomplish to get you moving? Let us know in the comment section.