Why All "the Gay Stuff" Black Girl?
Note: This is truly a personal opinion in response to conversations, and comments left for the Black Girl in the CLE team. This piece in not meant to sway any opinions, except to maybe be nice to all people who have not done harm to you, and not meant to begin a debate. It’s merely a statement on why Black Girl in the CLE celebrates and has friends in the LGBTQ+ community.
Lately, I’ve been in a lot of conversations with straight-identifying people about why I am “so” accepting of the…gay lifestyle (it’s usually not said that nicely). I’ve been asked if I am afraid that I might make my children gay by exposing them to gay people or letting my 17 year old go to pride. I’ve been asked if I’m gay, or “confused,” am “trying to be gay” by hanging out and speaking up for friends that are in the “community.”
I’ve been told that pronouns are stupid, and “how dare someone make me call them he or she” when they are a person of the opposite sex.
To me, it’s all toxic thinking. First, I don’t think I can make or turn my teenagers gay. I’m not a magician. But if that was my underlying plan all along then I probably should have started earlier (sorry to be snarky). More importantly, I love my kids no matter who they are or become.
Secondly, I stand by and up for all my friends, gay or straight, cause that’s what friends do. Right? Thirdly, I don’t mind calling anyone by anything they want. How often to we call our “cousins” names other that what’s on a birth certificate.
We often point out toxic masculinity, and the toxic thinking that has kept us from therapy and to me this is along those same lines. In some cases we use the same excuses or rationale to support why we can’t support. But at end of the day, I love Jesus, I love, support and am grateful for therapy, and I love, support and am grateful for people I know that are in the the LGBT community.
As a woman, a Black person, and as a Black woman I know the sting of not being accepted for who I am, and the sting of discrimination. I also know what it feels like to "not-conform" the society's image of what a Black woman is supposed to be. I never want to make someone feel that kind of pain or stress so that’s one reason I support.
Also, did you know that many Black people that come out as gay, lesbian, trans…are often discriminated against in the LGBTQ community? So they are shunned or feel outcasted for who they are in all areas. Which can also raise in issue of safety. Just imagine what that can do for someone’s mental health. Read more about the number of Black Trans women being murdered
I've had former friends say it's a sin, unholy, so they can't be supportive of "that lifestyle." Or “I believe in God and He doesn’t approve”. Ok, but there are many things we…scratch that I do that He probably doesn’t approve of either. Sin is sin, being said as a sinner so I choose not the throw the 1st stone or be the one to throwing stones from my glass house (if you know what I mean). More importantly, I choose to is to love my neighbor and to judge not.
Sidenote: How or why would I stop or shame someone for who they are attracted to or hook up with? Seriously I think we all have or have been that friend that likes or is attracted to someone that’s not good for us. I stand by and still love those straight friends too. And appreciate that they stick with me when I’m that friend.
At the end of the day I believe in showing people compassion, and love. Am I gay? No. Do I have friends and hang out with people in the LGBTQ community. Absolutely! I even to business with gay people and “allow” more like welcome them to our events. Do I have straight friends that are toxic, close-minded, and engaging in sin? Yes. Is it my place to judge any of my friends? No, my job is to be a friend, and in some instances an example of love, spirituality and kindness.
So that's all I have, that's why I and we (Black Girl in the CLE) stand with and celebrate with our friends in the LGBTQ+ community. I would hope that if we ever had a Black Pride month (which would be equally if not more controversial), they would celebrate me too.